Walleye Fishing Charters Lake Erie
How about a bit of fishing humor for your Walleye Fishing Charters Lake Erie?
Ten standard fishing terms explained.
Catch and Release – A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat caught over its limit.
Hook –
- A curved piece of metal is used to catch fish.
- A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his life savings on a new rod and reel.
- The punch administered by said fisherman’s wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook).
Line – Something you give your co-workers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend.
Lure – An object that is semi-enticing to fish but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.
Reel – A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.
Rod – An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from getting too close to a fish.
School – A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for spam instead.
Tackle -What did your last catch do to you while reeling him in, just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard?
Tackle Box —This is a box-shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so when you reach into the wrong box blindly to get a Band-Aid, you soon find that you need more than one.
Test –
- The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range.
- A measure of your creativity in blaming “that darn line” for losing the fish again.
Q: If fish lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland
A man was stopped by a game warden on Lake Erie recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing.
The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?”
The man replied to the game warden, “No, sir. These are my pet fish.”
“Pet fish?!” the warden replied.
“Yes, sir. Every night, I take these fish down to the lake and let them swim for a while. I whistle, they jump back into their buckets, and I take ’em home.”
“That’s a bunch of hooey! Fish can’t do that!”
The man looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, “Here, I’ll show you. It works.”
“O.K., I’ve GOT to see this!” The game warden was curious.
The man poured the fish into the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, “Well?”
“Well, what?” the man responded.
“When will you call them back?” the game warden asked.
“Call who back?” the man asked.
“The FISH.”
“What fish?” the man asked.
Q: What do you call a fish with no eye?FSH!!!
One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.
About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family.
“You aren’t going to catch many fish that way,” said the businessman to the fisherman, “you should be working rather than lying on the beach!”
The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled, and replied, “And what will my reward be?”
“Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!” was the businessman’s answer.
“And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman, still smiling.
The businessman replied, “You will make money, and you’ll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger fish catches!” “And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman again.
The businessman was getting slightly irritated with the fisherman’s questions. “You can buy a bigger boat and hire some people to work for you!” he said.
“And then what will my reward be?” repeated the fisherman.
The businessman was getting angry. “Don’t you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail worldwide, and let all your employees catch fish for you!”
Once again, the fisherman asked, “And then what will my reward be?”
The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, “Don’t you understand that you can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your days on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won’t have a care in the world!”
The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, “And what do you think I’m doing right now?”
Q: How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut its nose off
A father and son went fishing one day. While in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How does this boat float? The father replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.” A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, “How do fish breathe underwater?”Once again, the father replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.” A little later, the boy asked his father, “Why is the sky blue?”Again, the father replied. “Don’t rightly know, son.” Finally, the boy asked his father, “Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?”The father replied, “Of course not, you don’t ask questions, you never learn nothin’.”
Q: What is the fastest fish in the sea?
Go-carp
Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better the fishing around you.
Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but won’t make him truthful.
Q: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
Dam
A fisherman returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger and heavier than he. On the way to the cleaning shed, he ran into a second fisherman who had a stringer with a dozen baby minnows. The second fisherman looked at the marlin, turned to the first fisherman, and said, ” Only caught one, eh?”
Fisherman’s wife: “Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.”
